Race week is here. I can’t believe it. I’m nervous, excited, and afraid. I’ve had a queasy feeling in my gut for days that I don’t think will subside until the starting gun goes off. This weekend I am running in the Tarawera 100 Miler.
I don’t know if the fact that I’ve run a hundred miles before makes it harder or easier. It feels easier in that I know I have (had) the capability to do it. Harder in that the now I know how difficult it is. The first time, I didn’t know what I didn’t know. And this time, I’m afraid I’ve forgotten whatever it is I learned the first time around.
It’s been almost six years since I’ve run this distance. Six years more age on my body. Six years during which I have not been running many big events.
Am I ready? What does that even mean? I ran what a piece of paper told me to run almost to a fault, ignoring those silly instructions about speed work. Does anybody like speed work? My body doesn’t feel particularly ready, but did it last time? And what does that feel like anyway?
As for the mind? What I know is that a version of me did this in the past and that when faced with a difficult challenge, I often get through it. I can see the finish line by the lake in Rotorua. I picture myself bowing so that the pounamu can be hung around my neck. It’s just one step at a time. That’s all anyone can ask of themselves.