gratitude

Countdown New Zealand Day 14

05/23/2020 by John Leave a Comment

This is a series of posts that will log some of my thoughts in the month leading up to my moving back to New Zealand.

This is one of those moments when life feels full of possibility. I am ready to move to New Zealand and make it my permanent home. I know this feeling will ebb and flow, that there will be moments after we get there when I’ll wonder if we’ve done the right thing. But those moments will happen no matter what we do.

I think of sunny days sitting outside on Oriental Bay drinking a coffee. I think about running up, over, and around the hills surrounding Wellington, of coming to the top of Mount Albert and seeing the South Island thrusting out of the waters across Cook Strait. I know that memory is kind. The hard times we had there have faded but the evidence of them can be found in my journals. It won’t be easy, but few things in life worth doing ever are.

I’m so glad we came here. And I’m so glad we get to go back there.

Saying Goodbye

11/03/2018 by John Leave a Comment

It has been four months now since we moved to the opposite side of the world from practically everyone we know. Saying goodbye and not knowing when or if we will ever see the people we care about again was painful and is something we continue to struggle with. But don’t all of us do this every day without even thinking about it?

The only thing predictable about life is that it is unpredictable. When we say goodbye to a loved one there is never a guarantee that we will see them again. When we pass a stranger on the street, we don’t know if it might be the last human interaction either one of us will have. To be mindful of this is to know that each instance of contact matters.

Who will you say goodbye to today? Who will enter into your life as you go about your routines? Can you be just a little bit kinder? Can we all treat each other as if it might be the last interaction we have?

Let Go

04/27/2018 by John Leave a Comment

I don’t know where to go from here and I think what I should do is to just stop being so concerned about it anyway. I’ve spent my life worrying too much about what’s next instead of appreciating what is. I’ve been constantly on the run from the slight discomfort of not feeling like I fit in enough, or that I don’t know enough to proceed, or because I think something is too difficult.

I’m tired of worrying about where to go from here. Chance and unexpected opportunity have been reliable guides thus far, I just never know when they are going to show up. There’s a thought, a feeling, I’m trying to express that seems to be struggling to bubble up through all the random insignificant thoughts that crowd my mind. Maybe it is this.

Let Go

Based on a journal entry from 3.10.16