mindfulness

Who Are You?

08/04/2017 by John Leave a Comment

We try so hard to define “who” we are when this is not possible. We are always in flux, ever changing, moment to moment. The cells that make up our bodies are constantly being born and dying, meanwhile 50 to 90 percent of those cells are not even human at all. Likewise, research into neuroplasticity has shown that the way we think and even our physiology change based on our everyday actions and thought patterns. We want to be a static thing, because that would be easier to grasp, but the attempt is like trying to grab onto water: you can feel it, but you just can’t hold on to it.

Based on a journal entry from 6.15.12

I Don’t Know

07/28/2017 by John Leave a Comment

I don’t know where I will be in four months. Two weeks ago, I did not know where I would be next month. I don’t know when I will have paid work again or what that work will be. I still don’t know what I’m going to be when I grow up.

But, I’m learning to be okay with “I don’t know”. Struggling against “I don’t know” only causes a lot of mental anguish. Trying to fill in the blank spaces created by “I don’t knows” takes up time that could better be spent enjoying the present the here and now.

There is freedom to be found in releasing the need to know what is next or in trying to have the answer to every question. “I don’t know” means the path is undetermined and anything can happen. I try to find the spaciousness within “I don’t know”, and then relax into the unlimited possibilities of it. “I don’t know” is not a problem that always needs a fix. “I don’t know” is an invitation to be awed by the mysteries of life.

Based on a journal entry from 7.24.12

Home at 30,000 Feet

07/14/2017 by John Leave a Comment

Yesterday we woke up in Barcelona. Today finds us back in Asheville, the place we often refer to as home, though we have not lived here for over two years now. I keep trying to tell myself that home is where you make it, to be satisfied with where I am in each moment and be at home there. Sometimes I remember this, to make my home wherever I am, even when sitting in the cramped seat of an airplane. I close my eyes, pay attention to my breath, and fall into the hum of white noise that seem to be ever present when sitting on a plane. I pay attention as the other sounds recede into the background and a slight smile purses my lips as I relax into the moment, the moment of just being on a plane, alive and well. Yes, this too can feel like home.

Based on a journal entry from 7.5.12