New Zealand

Looking Back on 2018

01/11/2019 by John 1 Comment

Makara Peak, Wellington, New Zealand

2018 was a year of contrasts. I spent the first half of the year ping-ponging around the Eastern United States and the second half tethered to a small apartment half a world away in New Zealand. In January I had a pretty good sense of who I was, but by the fall, much of that had been dismantled. It was a strange year.

I spent some time recently looking back on the past year in an effort to better prepare myself for 2019. While doing an exercise designed to aid in this process, I was asked to come up with three words to describe 2018. For me, they were the following.

Change
Friendship
Identity

Change was ever present in 2018. That and it’s moody twin brother uncertainty. Much of the first half of the year was spent wondering where we would be sleeping the next week. We watched our savings account dwindle as we waited to hear back about job interviews and work visas. Upon arriving in New Zealand, we lived in four different places in the first month we were here. It was unsettling.

Throughout all of this change, friendship provided us the strength and support we so desperately needed. The first half of 2018 I was fortunate to be able to spend quality time with many of the people in my life that mean the most to me. Since arriving in New Zealand, we have met some incredible people who have opened up their homes and their hearts to welcome us.

I have already written about losing my identity since being here. Though I’m becoming more comfortable with who I am now, it is still a big challenge. 2019 will be a lot about how this struggle plays out.

2018 was a year I won’t soon forget. Through change and uncertainty, friendship kept us afloat. And while the search for identity continues, I welcome the opportunity to keep exploring what it means to be me when everything around me is different.

Saying Goodbye

11/03/2018 by John Leave a Comment

It has been four months now since we moved to the opposite side of the world from practically everyone we know. Saying goodbye and not knowing when or if we will ever see the people we care about again was painful and is something we continue to struggle with. But don’t all of us do this every day without even thinking about it?

The only thing predictable about life is that it is unpredictable. When we say goodbye to a loved one there is never a guarantee that we will see them again. When we pass a stranger on the street, we don’t know if it might be the last human interaction either one of us will have. To be mindful of this is to know that each instance of contact matters.

Who will you say goodbye to today? Who will enter into your life as you go about your routines? Can you be just a little bit kinder? Can we all treat each other as if it might be the last interaction we have?

Anywhere is Everywhere

08/03/2018 by John 5 Comments

From the window of our apartment overlooking the hills and the sea, I can watch the planes take off from the airport and hear the deep rumble of their engines as they gain altitude. In the morning, before the sun has risen, I watch their flashing lights grow smaller and smaller as they climb into the still dark sky. In the evening, I marvel as the late afternoon sun lights them up like comets shooting upward from the earth. Some people would not want to live near an airport, but I find it to be a comfort.

After a month in New Zealand, the novelty is starting to wear off and the weight of the reality of life here is beginning to bear down on me. I am still intoxicated by the beauty of this country, the friendliness of its people, and the more relaxed way of life that seems to be a part of the culture here. But I don’t know anyone, and nobody knows me. I feel so far away from everyone and everything I’ve ever known.

But then I look up again from my loneliness and watch another plane climb into the sky and I know that everything is closer than it seems. All I have to do is walk down the road, pay my fare, and I can be anywhere I want to be. And then I remember that it is even simpler than that. If I close my eyes and listen to my heart, I know that I am never alone and that anywhere is everywhere.