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You are here: Home / Archives for Lifestyle

Lifestyle

The End of The Season

01/20/2018 by John Leave a Comment

Alabama Football T-ShirtThe college football season is over and what I feel is relief and not because the Alabama Crimson Tide won the national championship. I feel relief that the pressure has been taken off. The season takes a great deal of my time and mental energy. I understand it is a choice, but while in the midst of it, it feels more like a compulsion.

I grew up watching Alabama play football. Some of my earliest memories involve watching and attending games with my family and friends. But I am dismayed by the amount of time I allow college football to take up of my life. I spend many Saturday afternoon and evenings watching the games and countless hours reading people’s opinions about who the best teams are and why.

During the mid-nineties and through the beginning of the Nick Saban era, I hardly paid any attention at all to Alabama football. During that time Alabama was a middle of the road team, rarely competing for any titles. Now that we are winning again, I can’t seem to get off the roller coaster ride of emotions that watching the games provides. This season that ride took me from the despair of losing to Auburn to the elation of watching DeVonta Smith catch the pass that won the National Championship.

But with each passing year, I find it harder to turn away from the dark side of the sport. Increasingly, I find it uncomfortable to support an activity that can be so brutal. It is getting too hard to watch players go down with season ending injuries, to see players lying on the field in agony, and watching some of the toughest men alive brought to tears by pain, both physical and emotional.

I want to let this obsession with Alabama football go.

I want to not care who wins on Saturday.

But like any compulsion, it seems out of my control. A few weeks from now I’m sure I’ll be trolling through the sports pages to see if Alabama wins another recruiting championship. In late spring, I’ll be wishing there was some college football news to get me through to the start of the season. Perhaps next year, I’ll be able to let go a little bit more. Perhaps.

Notes: I was planning on talking about the widely reported stories that professional football players have shorter lifespans, higher suicide rates, and higher incidences of domestic violence. However, it seems these stories are inaccurate, or at least don’t tell the whole story. See Forbes and Slate for more.

Filed Under: Lifestyle

I Have Good Veins

12/22/2017 by John Leave a Comment

Picture of my arm veins As long as I can remember, I have been afraid of having blood taken out of my arm. A finger prick sample, no problem, but the mere thought of having that needle close to the crook of my arm would send waves of apprehension coursing through me. I had to give blood once when I was a child, but I don’t remember the details. I must have been sick. Why else would you need to take blood from a little kid? What I do remember is that it took several sticks (from more than one person) before the job was done. I remember someone telling me that I had “rolly” veins, meaning veins that liked to dart out-of-the-way as the needle was approaching them.

So that is who I have been, the person with rolly veins for the last 40 odd years of my life. I have never donated blood in times of need, and I avoid getting blood work done if possible. Recently, everything changed.

I went to get some routine blood work done that I could not avoid. I told the lab tech about my rolly veins after she was well into her process and she said that I had great veins. This surprised me. So I am not the person with rolly veins? But I had spent so much energy being that person. So much anxiety, so much worry and avoidance, all for something that was not true, or was true no longer. Suddenly, giving blood held no terror for me.

I let someone else’s words define who I was for most of my life. Someone else’s opinion. And so the tale was written: the story of John with the rolly veins and that’s the narrative I lived. All it took was a different point of view to rewrite that story. So I ask myself, how much time do I spend living out stories that are not of my choosing or that are based on inaccurate information? How easy would it be to rewrite those tales?

Our lives are a collection of interwoven narratives, screenplays we act out as we go through our days. We should be asking ourselves which of these storylines are serving us and who wrote them? When we find that one or many of these scripts are not contributing to our well-being, it’s time to write a new story.

Based on a journal entry from 3.18.15

Filed Under: Lifestyle Tagged With: mindfulness

Happiness Is Not A Place

11/17/2017 by John 2 Comments

Signpost at the northern tip of New Zealand

Signpost at the northern tip of New Zealand

We recently received the news that Mary is eligible to practice nursing in New Zealand. Currently, she has a recruiter in Auckland chasing down job leads for her. Though the possibility of living in New Zealand for an extended period of time is exciting, I have to remember that happiness will not come from the place where I live. Happiness is something I must cultivate with every action I take in each and every moment.

I often harbor the hope that a change in geography will create a change in me, that it will scratch the itch of restlessness that I often feel. Sometimes this pans out, such as when I left Alabama to work in North Carolina. Sometimes, it doesn’t work so well. Visiting the Bahamas is nice, but living there is not something I wish to do again. A change can bring a fresh start, a chance to be someone new. But the unsettled and mildly unsatisfied aspects of my psyche inevitably follow me wherever I go. No amount of distance can allow me to escape from myself. When I do not tend to the cause of my dissatisfaction, no stunning beach or breathtaking mountain vista satisfies me for very long.

I’ll have to remember this while I’m in that far away land, with a new panoply of stars spinning over my head, homesick for friends and family 10,000 miles away. Like my restlessness, a deep contentment also lies within me and it is up to me to encourage it to rise to the surface of consciousness. Wherever I am, there is a quiet, still place inside me that assures me that all I have is all I will ever need and that I am never truly alone.

Filed Under: Lifestyle Tagged With: travel

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