Many of you might remember that this blog began with a post detailing Mary and my struggle with whether or not to remain home owners. Well, as far as this home is concerned, I think we may have answered that question.
20 Chatham Road is officially on the market.
It’s not that we don’t like this house. We are quite fond of it. We have spent quite a bit of time and money making the house into the home it it today. Walls have been removed, kitchens remodeled, and furniture rearranged ad nauseam. And please, don’t even inquire as to how many times it took us to paint the bathroom until we finally got it right. You may be wondering then why we are moving and where we are going to go?
As for the where are we going question, well, I don’t know. We don’t really have a clear vision of what’s next. We are still wondering whether ownership is what we want or not. I guess we will have to sort out that decision soon. The question of why we are going did become somewhat clearer to me recently.
It all comes down to letting go.
Why have we been thinking about selling this house for so many years now and not done anything about it? As for me, an answer to that question is that I have been afraid about what would be next. Where will we go? What about all of our stuff? I have learned to hold on to the safety and security of owning the house.
A podcast I recently listened to was on this topic of letting go. It talked about the ways we hold on to things, and that this holding on can become like a closed fist. The issue with having a closed fist is that it can be very limiting. Think about it, what can you really do with a closed fist? Sure you can keep holding on to whatever your thing is, you can pound stuff with it, and wave it in the air with indignation or just while rocking out, but that’s about it. Now, consider an open hand and how much more it can do. It can reach out to others, or be used to make something beautiful. It can reach forward and point towards the horizon. Letting go is about having an open hand.
Though we do not yet know what is next for us, we are looking forward to it with excitement and of course a certain healthy amount of uncertainty. We have had a great five years in this house. As we move forward, we hope to do so with a sense of possibility and with open hands outstretched.