Alcohol

This is the second in a series of series of posts I am writing in conjunction with Sober October. These posts explore my changing relationship with alcohol.

At 1:15 a.m., I wondered why it was that I was not sleeping so good. And then I remembered. The third beer is always a mistake.

The pattern that repeats itself in regards to my drinking goes like this: I have one drink, and it all seems so nice and relaxing. I am having fun and there are smiles and laughter. So why not have a second? Before I finish this one, my mind is already grasping for a third. Why not? This is making me happy, right? Before I finish the third beer, I realize I am a little drunk. I don’t like some of the feelings and behaviors that stem from that, and I know that there will be consequences in the way that I sleep and how I will feel the next day.

So why not stop at the second, or better yet the first beer? That would be a reasonable solution, but one that I find difficult to implement. When it comes to alcohol, I am better at the extremes: none at all or one too many.

Three or more drinks make my sleep suffer. They might make going to sleep an easy process, but I wake up a few hours later feeling overly warm, dehydrated, and just generally not good. The next morning, I don’t wake up as easily. My energy level is flat or worse, and I spend much of the day in a bit of a haze. All of this greatly affects the quality of my day.

The Avett Brothers say it best:

When I drink,

I spend the next morning in a haze,

But we only get so many days,

Now I have one less.

Nights of drinking are thieves. They steal time. More accurately, they are vampires, for we must invite them in.

As I grow older, I open my door ever less often to these creatures of the night. I don’t know if I’ve grown much wiser, but I am certainly more aware that time is the most precious commodity that I possess and to squander it is simply not worth it. There is too much beauty to behold, people to connect with, and things to be done. Time is a gift to be treasured, and one that can be revoked at any moment.

Based on a journal entry from 8.9.12

I had some beer the other night for only the second time this month. I was unimpressed. It is interesting how when I’m drinking a beer I am often thinking about the next one. When something can’t be fully enjoyed because you’re already thinking about the next whatever thing it is, that’s probably a good clue into whether that thing is good for you or not.

Though there may be some enjoyment during the act of drinking, for me the end result is always the same: degraded sleep that night and sluggishness the next morning. Whatever temporary good feelings drinking produces are rarely worth these consequences to me anymore.

I think drinking is making a slow exit from my life. For the past few years, I have been experimenting with alcohol-free periods. This was first inspired by a podcast I heard with the founders of One Year, No Beer. I’ve taken several month-long breaks from drinking and took a 90-day hiatus from it in 2017.

Living in New Zealand provided a further impetus for decreasing the amount of alcohol I consume. The price of a good beer there is high, and so I found it harder to justify the expense. While there, I also read some enlightening books about alcohol by Annie Grace. If you’re curious about the true effects of alcohol and a discussion of how it has become such an ingrained part of our culture, I highly recommend reading one or both of them. Spoiler: no matter what you might hear in the news about alcohol having health benefits, the negative effects on our bodies and society are far greater.

What do I notice when I take long breaks from drinking?

• I have more energy
• I sleep better
• I get more done
• I am more in touch with my feelings, both the positive and the painful ones
• I am less moody
• I am a better partner to my spouse
• I say fewer things that I later regret
• I save money
• I am a better version of me

Seems obvious from those observations that I should never pop the top off a bottle of beer again. But I still have so many positive associations with alcohol. Like watching the sun sink into the Gulf of Mexico with beer and good friends, hatching new ideas while sitting in the square of a Spanish town while enjoying a bottle of wine, and making unexpected connections with people I probably would have never met had I not sat next to them at a bar. The thing is, all of that stuff could have happened without the alcohol.

Right now I like that things are naturally taking their course and I am increasingly losing interest in drinking. But I want to be conscious about nudging that trend along. I will be participating in Sober October this year, refraining from drinking alcohol for the entire month. If you’d like to explore your relationship with alcohol, please join me in undertaking this challenge. Leading up to and in conjunction with Sober October, I’ll be publishing a series of posts about my relationship with alcohol and how it has been evolving over time.