This is the second in a series of series of posts I am writing in conjunction with Sober October. These posts explore my changing relationship with alcohol.
At 1:15 a.m., I wondered why it was that I was not sleeping so good. And then I remembered. The third beer is always a mistake.
The pattern that repeats itself in regards to my drinking goes like this: I have one drink, and it all seems so nice and relaxing. I am having fun and there are smiles and laughter. So why not have a second? Before I finish this one, my mind is already grasping for a third. Why not? This is making me happy, right? Before I finish the third beer, I realize I am a little drunk. I don’t like some of the feelings and behaviors that stem from that, and I know that there will be consequences in the way that I sleep and how I will feel the next day.
So why not stop at the second, or better yet the first beer? That would be a reasonable solution, but one that I find difficult to implement. When it comes to alcohol, I am better at the extremes: none at all or one too many.
Three or more drinks make my sleep suffer. They might make going to sleep an easy process, but I wake up a few hours later feeling overly warm, dehydrated, and just generally not good. The next morning, I don’t wake up as easily. My energy level is flat or worse, and I spend much of the day in a bit of a haze. All of this greatly affects the quality of my day.
The Avett Brothers say it best:
When I drink,
I spend the next morning in a haze,
But we only get so many days,
Now I have one less.
Nights of drinking are thieves. They steal time. More accurately, they are vampires, for we must invite them in.
As I grow older, I open my door ever less often to these creatures of the night. I don’t know if I’ve grown much wiser, but I am certainly more aware that time is the most precious commodity that I possess and to squander it is simply not worth it. There is too much beauty to behold, people to connect with, and things to be done. Time is a gift to be treasured, and one that can be revoked at any moment.
Based on a journal entry from 8.9.12