WIR

Why I Run: Part 4

02/14/2016 by John 1 Comment

This is part four of a series answering the question of Why I
Run

Running has been humbling recently. I am one week away from the Everglades Ultras and I already feel like I've got a DNF (Did Not Finish). Last week I struggled to finish a 17 mile training run. My exhaustion brought me to tears by my perceived failure. I felt as if I had fallen so far. How could someone who completed a mountainous 100 mile run through thunder and hail struggle so much to finish doing 17 miles on flat terrain? No matter how much I might want to hang on to who I was just 8 months ago, that person is gone. The body I now inhabit is not the same as the one of last summer. Running's latest lesson for me is about impermanence.

When I signed up for The Everglades Ultras, I planned to run the 50 mile version of the race, but I’ve come to realize that just completing the 30 mile variation will be a struggle for me right now. I worked hard for six months preparing to run The Bryce 100. I was focused in my approach to training and got up to run despite the cold of winter, the snow and ice on the ground, or my own desire to just sleep in a little later. My body and mind adapted and got stronger. I changed who I was.

But nothing stays the same, no matter how much we wish that it would. In the months since Bryce, I approached my running as a casual endeavor and when I began preparing for the Everglades Ultras, I allowed a busy schedule and lack of discipline to prevent me from putting in the miles required to be fully prepared. Once again, I changed who I was.

Life is change. Nothing stays still. Everything is in motion, including the composition of our bodies and minds. Everyday the decisions we make affect who we are and how we impact the people and the world around us. Achievements don't last, but fortunately neither do failures. Each moment we have a choice, and those choices effect a change in who we are.

Impermanence can be a disturbing aspect of life, but it also creates new opportunities. We are not stuck with who we are and we can change our situation if we are not satisfied with it. Change will happen regardless of what we do or don't do so we might as well take some responsibility for what direction we move in. To be healthy, we must choose wisely what we put in our mouths and what we do with our bodies. To live a fulfilling life, we must decide how to spend the limited amount of time we are allotted. We can choose to be positive, even when our initial reactions to a situation might dictate otherwise. Each choice, each decision we make causes a change, and over time, these changes help to create who we are.

Are there changes you want to make in your life?

What choices will lead to that change?

Why I Run: Part Three

05/26/2015 by John Leave a Comment

This is part three of a series answering the question of Why I
Run.

My life is full of noise. There is the near constant hum of a machine working to keep me at my desired temperature and the sounds that manage to penetrate the insulated boxes I live and travel within. My field of view is noisy with messages to buy this or believe that. There is the noise that I invite in, like the radio I’ve turned on that I’m not even listening too and the stream of texts, status updates, and emails that I allow to fill my days. And that is just the external noise.

Internally, the noise can be even louder, a barrage of thoughts and feelings, self-critiques, and observations about everyone and everything, creating a cacophony of distorted realities. The days pass with my mind continuously turning over the past, planning (or more likely just worrying about) the future, or jumping from distraction to distraction in an attempt to stop thinking about past and future. All of it is just noise.

But there are moments when I am running when all of the noise drops away. The quiet of the forest envelops me, and sometimes, if I’m fortunate, my internal chatter settles like debris drifting to the bottom of a still pool of water and for brief moments, there are no more thoughts. At these times, there is nothing but the sensations of my body moving with every living and non-living thing surrounding me and there is no separation between any of it. Thought becomes irrelevant, the past and future merge into the now. This is why I run. I run to find the silence where all is one.

Why I Run: Part Two

01/25/2015 by John Leave a Comment

Team Pinhoti 100: Me, Mary, Paul, and Andy

This is part two of a series answering the question of Why I Run.

We were traveling through the depths of the night with the frigid air of winter’s first cold front easily penetrating our thin layers of running attire. I was supporting my friend Paul by running the last 30 miles of the Pinhoti 100 with him. In the flickering fire light at the mile 82 aid station, I noticed another runner, sitting on a stump, hands holding up her head, elbows on knees, anguished eyes providing a steady flow of tears streaming down her cold flushed cheeks. “We won’t see her again,” I thought to myself. 26 hours, 51 minutes, and 58 seconds after Paul began his journey, he crossed the finish line at the high school in Pelham, Alabama, and not long after that, the girl from the aid station came around that final loop running strong, her face bursting with a smile.

I Run to Be Inspired By Others

Though the act of running is a solitary activity, there is also a strong sense of community surrounding it. That group includes fellow runners, the communities in which races are held, and the friends and family who lend support. The help and inspiration of others can be instrumental in getting through the tough times and completing an endeavor as difficult as an ultra-marathon.

It’s a difficult job….

My experience at Pinhoti has been a big motivator in my own desire to to run a 100 miles. To watch a diverse collection of individuals, some of whom you would never peg as runners, attempt such a challenging event was incredible. Equally inspiring was the group of people who came out to support the runners, friends and family who were staying up all night, navigating difficult forest service backroads, and dealing with the inevitable highs and lows that their runner experienced in the course of the event. There were also the incredible people who volunteered at the aid stations, filling water bottles for runners whose hands had become too numb from cold to do it themselves, and providing words of love and encouragement to people they are likely to never see again.

Running long distances is not easy. I don’t have any idea what was going on with the runner at mile 82. Was she physically hurting or battling some internal demon at that late hour of the night? Most likely it was both. Regardless, to witness her resilience, and that of others who compete in these events inspires me and provides motivation to face my own struggles. The people who come out to lend aid also inspire me to be a more giving and compassionate person. If you are a fellow runner or someone supporting one in a race or the long training period leading up to one, thanks for all you do and for giving me another reason to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

If you want to read more about why, I run check out Part One of this series.