When people ask me what I do and I tell them I work in a restaurant, the conversation often stops. Why is this? Is it me or is it them? Is it because the way I answer the question indicates to them that I don’t want to talk about it, or do they just not know how to respond? I feel like I’m being judged, but by who? Myself, them, or both? This did not seem to happen when I told people I was a bicycle tour guide or that I worked for Outward Bound.
What do you do? Most of us assume that what the person asking really wants to know is what do we do for money. And isn’t this usually what we mean when we ask others what they do? The question is a culturally programmed response to meeting someone new. It is a quick way for us to categorize each other.
I think the conversation needs to shift. I need to change my answers. And I need to ask better questions.
“What do you do?”
“I like to write, run long distances, travel, cook, spend time outdoors, and learn new things. What do you like to do?”
Wouldn’t this make for the start of a much more interesting conversation?
Ok! I need your updated answer! I would probably say “I’m a Mom” but in my mind I would be thinking “I do…. nothing”. I often call myself “the most un-employable person”. I have to change my mind, my thoughts and my answers! Good read!
You are one of the hardest working people I know and that makes you employable by almost anyone. Thanks for taking the time to read my ramblings.
I like to read your blog.
Thanks for reading and commenting Suzanne. It means a lot to me. I hope all is well with you in Chattanooga. We really enjoyed our brief time there.
Yep! Nothing wrong with a life that allows you to write, run long distances, travel, cook, spend time outdoors and learn new things; and makes for an interesting conversation.
Agreed, but let me know if you can find someone who will pay me to do those things.
You’ve being doing the friend gig for a long time, too. Pro bono, of course. I’m thankful.