I’m feeling some growing anxiety about returning to New Zealand. It won’t be easy. Difficult things never are. Staying here wouldn’t be easy either. It probably comes down to comfort. Being in this large (to us) house is comfortable. Living in a small community where you often run into someone you know is comfortable. Having a job where on many days I can come and go as I like is comfortable.
But living in such a volatile political climate is uncomfortable. I could make a list of things that are uncomfortable about being here, but why? Am I trying to convince myself we’re making the right move? How many brain cycles have Mary and I spent ruminating over whether or not we are doing the “right” thing or on what that right thing is? Countless.
Feelings come and go. Excitement about running up, over, and around the hills of Wellington one minute, followed by anxiety about being so far from friends and family the next. The transition times are usually the hardest. Maybe this one will be less so since we are going back to something more or less known.