Sober October is over, but my alcohol-free streak has continued into November. Work has been busy and my duties supervising teenagers have prevented me from having many opportunities to partake. But even when I have had them, my desire to have a drink remains low. Like many bad habits, the longer I stay away from this one, the less power it has over my behavior.
Have I been tempted to drink during this period of abstinence? Sure, but usually in unexpected places. While shopping at Trader Joe’s, I found myself drawn to the alcohol section like a moth to a flame only to get there and remember my commitment to sobriety for the month.
I don’t think that I’ve had my last drink, but when I do decide to have one, I want to do so with intentionality. Alcohol is an unreliable friend. One moment it can embolden me to be the center of attention and the next it can betray me and make me feel like I just want to fade out of the room completely. When I am on the boisterous side of it, I can become the life of the party. But I’m also just as likely to say something I might later regret.
I hope I can maintain a healthy relationship with alcohol. I hope that it becomes something I do with intention and on infrequent occasions. I hope that when I do drink, I remember that the third beer is always a mistake. The problem is, beer number two is persuasive to the contrary.
Based partially on a journal entry from 12.15.16